Here’s an online conversation between 2 of my friends, which I’d like to share with some of u out there. I’ve used some amount of discretion and edited it slightly (All quotes in < > have been added by me.) I’ve only excluded the boring parts…and I’ve kept the lingo intact…
I’ve edited names of all people and some places and replaced them with letters in CAP.. And for ur information, FF and GB are 2 engineers just out of college.. yeah, in simple words- JOBLESS. That’ll be clear from the dialogue… So here they go. Enjoy…
FF: dude, wen u cumin to Chennai ?? < GB is presently abroad >
GB: I was planning to come on 22nd, but G just told me ur leaving by then, so I'll make it on 20th.
FF: 20th?? 19th not possible??
GB: well, possible, but 19th only I am landing, around 10 am, my parents won’t approve of me leaving immediately.
FF: dude, how’s S???????
GB: is Ravi online? < Yeah.. I’m the “Ravi” being spoken of >
FF: ppl keep tellin me to ask u about her..chakkar kya hai?? Ravi’s not online, don’t worry
GB: ya ya, ppl will keep telling and u also keep asking. anyway, no chakkar and bullshit, she's fine.
FF: but u never reply to questions.. y?????????????????????????????????????? And who asked about bullshit?? keep it for urself..shove it up ur ass..
GB: ya of course. hahaha
FF: great.. let’s talk about S...2 b more precise, UR S
GB: ya fine, my S.
FF: forever urs??
GB: that u should ask her.
FF: y?? u have no voice?? slave or wat??
GB: i am planning to go to PY when I come.
FF: wat? wen?? S is from PY rite??
GB: maybe 22nd or 21st if u guys wanna come.. ya ya, going to meet her only idiot
FF: m definitely cumin.. coz have to confirm a lot..u need not cum.. give her address..
GB: I myself don’t know.
FF: she's ur friend only rite??
GB: ya ya friend only.
FF: good..then give her number..I’ll take care of her..she good enough for me?? < Any1’s gud enuf 4u FF >
GB: a bit taller than u..hmmm, slightly faster than u in math...
FF: not a problem... seen sachin n wife?? perfect pair.. I’ll learn math from her then.,,. either ways good for me..
GB: she's a black belt
FF: and I’m a red belt..comes after 10 black belts.. < New karate guys.. >
GB: ya rite FF. with all that, u didn’t kick the shit off B. shame on u.
FF: not just muscle dude, u should have some common sense also not to fight with 2 on 1 side n 100 on the other,, < What was it, Mahabharata ?? > ..and first rule of karate.. never use it with a person who doesn’t know it.. poor B n frenz.. I was being loyal to karate.. < I'm sure u were FF >
GB: oh, I almost forgot, she has two dogs at home. u can have a nice time running around the house. they r really big dogs u know. < Reminds me of an incident in the past FF >
FF: I’ll take GC along. he’ll make it 5 dogs by the time we return.< What is he? Superman? >
GB: u guys game to go to PY? < What the hell have u guys been discussing all this time u dimwit.. >
FF: so, u have any prob if me n ur S go along?? sorry..MY S!!!!!
GB: I can see that ur too lonely these days
FF: I don’t feel lonely at all.. S's there in my mind all the time...
GB: when did Ravi have that much time to tell u about S? < Yeah guys, this editing itself is eating into my sleep time >
FF: He dint tell me anything bout her dude..
GB: Then they told about me being her friend in the news? < Maybe AajTak or IndiaTV. That’s their standard these days lol >
FF: no.. u told me b4 I returned to Calicut..tambaram outing.. forgot?? n during chatting.. bout ur marriage n all.. PY church n stuff. n night at Ravi’s place..4got?? < Seems like GB hit his head and forgot everything >
GB: I like her man, she's a nice person < Isn’t every female… > , and PY church is coz she's supposed to find a person for me..actually, her younger sis is very pretty. but she already has someone. < don’t they all > too bad… < Sounds like a bollywood story >
FF: now I want to c her.. but S's gonna b mine.. n m damn possessive of others talking to her..I’ll kill him..else u take him to US.. GAY marriage is legal there rite?? n I’ll gift our first child to u.. adopt him or her.. < You’ll be lucky FF if u HAVE a child >
GB: dude, her current boy friend is a bit taller than D man.. < D’s probably 6’2” plus >
FF: very good.. I can easily go under his legs then.. poor fellow will develop a backache by the time he catches me.. < now it really sounds like a hindi blockbuster >... I’ll call G to damage his future.. n trust me, she's the best in it.. ask GC for proof..
GB: what happened? what did she do?
FF: damaged his future..2 tight waks n the damage is done..she shouted in public that he has a very small lollipop.. < I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm guys.. ;-) >
GB: she shouted at GC?
FF: forget it dude.. out of Americans reach..let’s talk about my S.. < Oh ya, 4got to tell u, GB’s a student-exchange product >
GB: ok, let’s talk.
FF: u say something na.. how do I approach her??what do I tell her??how do I win her faith n luv??
GB: win her faith..PY has a nice beach, dive into it and get a pearl. < Everyone’s a producer out here >
FF: fine..u dive n get me a pearl ok.. I’ll give it on my behalf..
GB: typical Mallu..
FF: how do u know about typical mallu?? DG a mallu??I dint know that..< neither did I >
GB: I just have an allergy towards mallu gals man, dunno y.
FF: so, how many mallu girls do u know other than SL??
GB: hmmm, just her. < That sounds like a nice judgement >
FF: looking at the past, I guess I’m the one who should b allergic to mallu girls.. not u..
GB: ok ,tell me, seriously when do u think we can go to PY, where will we stay?
FF: u ppl find a stay.. mine is almost pakka now itself.. I’ve made up my mind..
I can stay at my S's place.. < In ur dreams maybe > n probably u can sleep with the dogs.. < Then he won't be staying.. he'll be straying. >
GB: ok, tell me ,where r u staying now?
FF: yesterday at V's place.. 2day at I’s place.. 2moro again V's place.. then may be in Tambaram at cousin’s place.. < No guys, he’s not gay >
GB: when I come on 19th nite, that’s if I am planning to come on 19th nite, where will u be?
FF: probably cousin’s place..not sure.. y??
GB: coz I need a place to stay asshole, where will I shit and take bath < He’s just pissed >
FF: I’ll see if u can cum there..what else dude??
D: Nothing much..
FF: ok..I’ll catch u later then,, have n xam 2moro morning regarding sum crap placement.. < !!! Typical engineers. I hope TCS, Infy, CTS, etc are reading… >
GB: ok, good luck man. tc
FF: thanks man.
PS. I thank FF and GB. Without them this would've never been possible. Special thanks to V also. Comments from all of u are welcome. Till next time, see ya....